[Grad-postdoc-assn] Tips for feeling better

Thu Mar 19 22:22:29 MDT 2020

Dear all,

We realize that being a grad student or postdoc has enough challenges
without adding extra stress. I'm hoping for you that you feel safe,
assured, and supported. May we all feel a sense of calm.

>From what I am reading, staying as positive as possible and connecting with
others can make a big difference to one's spirits. Notice the small
pleasures of life. Try to practice being grateful. Consider Skyping
(Facetime, etc.) with each other and with family and friends regularly, and
notice how it can lift up your mood. Also, please feel free to chat with me
if you need a little moral support. Just send me an email and I'll send my
cell number. I'm sure that others on the ASP team would say the same thing.

Below is an article with some suggestions on how to feel happier in these
times. The important idea not mentioned is that of reaching out to people
you care about by phone/video, which can really help to energize and
diminish feelings of isolation.

Also, here is a candle to bring some warmth and calm into your evening or
morning.
[image: candlelight.png]

Tips for how to stay happy in troubling times

*By dwelling less on stress and reflecting on the positives, BBC Future’s
guide to happiness will help you to feel less overwhelmed by world events.*

With the unfolding global coronavirus pandemic leading to people being
confined to their homes, borders being shut and economic instability, it
can be hard not to feel overwhelmed by the state of the world at the
moment. The good news? *Even in times of stress and anxiety, you can take
proactive steps to lift your mood*
<https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51873799>.

The science of emotions is incredibly complicated, but it is also
well-studied. Over the years, BBC Future has interviewed dozens of
world-leading experts in psychology who shared with us practical, everyday
tips for coping better with stress. We recently trawled through the
research. Here are some of the top tips we found – some of which may
surprise you.

*1. Distract yourself.*

It’s easy to run over and over the topic that’s stressing us out, whether
that’s the new coronavirus outbreak, the state of the climate or something
else. But *stopping people from ruminating on a recent stressful event – by
offering a distraction – can lower their blood pressure back to normal
levels* <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20846182> quicker than
offering no distraction.

*2. If you meditate, be aware that it might not work for everyone.*

In times like these, many people might find meditation and mindfulness
helpful. But others might not – for precisely the reason above. For some
people, practicing stillness might simply invite rumination. It can be
difficult not to think about stressful events when trying to clear our
minds. This may be why *evidence for the benefits of mindfulness and
meditation is patchy*
<https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190813-burnout-anxiety-stress-proof-relief>.
For those people, a more compelling distraction than meditation might be
required.

*3. Reframe the situation.*

How we interpret our emotions is largely down to how they’re framed – in
other words, the context. *While talking about his 2017 book Happy*
<https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190605-a-mentalists-guide-to-being-happy>,
Derren Brown gives the example of a tennis player going into a match
thinking “I must win”. If they set an expectation that winning is
everything, if they start to lose, they feel like an abject failure. This
is a trap perfectionists tend to fall into, and it’s why *perfectionists
tend to respond with more guilt, shame and anger*
<https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180219-toxic-perfectionism-is-on-the-rise>
when
they feel they aren’t succeeding. They may even be more likely to give up.

The player who goes into a match thinking “I will play the best I can”,
however, believes that they are less hurt by losing, so long as they are
doing their best. The signs of failure are interpreted differently by both
players based on the expectations that they set for themselves.

It’s worth thinking about how you can apply this in your daily life: can
each moment or day be about doing the best you can in a stressful situation
(“I will practice proper hygiene and social distancing”), rather than
focusing on an outcome out of your control (“I will not and cannot get
sick”)?

That control part is key. Stressful situations are often beyond our
control, and we create anxiety and worry when we try to control what we
can’t. Focusing on what can be controlled, on the other hand, can decrease
feelings of anxiety.

*4. Don’t obsess over being positive or happy.*

This one may seem counterintuitive: it can be a bad idea to chase positive
emotions. Actively pursuing happiness can lead to the reverse effect. For
one thing, *the more we focus on our own happiness, the less we focus on
the happiness of the people around us*
<https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51631109_The_Pursuit_of_Happiness_Can_Be_Lonely>,
which has been shown to contribute to feelings of isolation and
disconnection. There is also *a link between searching for happiness and
feeling that time is slipping away*
<https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20181218-whats-the-quickest-way-to-happiness-do-nothing>
.

And again, if you’re focused on an outcome like “I must feel happy”, you
may feel worse about yourself if you don’t succeed – even though it’s
perfectly natural to have a more difficult time feeling happy in stressful
times.

*5. Focus on the small things.*

It may be wise, then, to spend less time trying to *become* happy, and
focus more on the little things that make us happy.

In her book Ten Minutes to Happiness, Sandi Mann, a lecturer at the
University of Central Lancashire, *advocates keeping a daily journal*
<https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20181016-how-to-boost-your-mood-with-one-10-minute-exercise>.
Her strategy is based on “positive psychology” – a well-established area of
psychology that suggests we can improve our mood by focusing on the small
things that bring happiness to us each day. Mann says that answering the
following six questions, a task that should only take 10 minutes, can help
us to find more happiness in life.

1. What experiences, however mundane, gave you pleasure?

2. What praise and feedback did you receive?

3. What were the moments of pure good fortune?

4. What were your achievements, however small?

5. What made you feel grateful?

6. How did you express kindness?

The benefits of keeping a short journal like this are two-fold. When we
write, it helps to remind us of the small things that brought us happiness.
It also provides us with an archive of everything that has made us happy in
the past, which we can reflect on at a later date.

*6. Clean up – maybe. *Should you find yourself quarantined, take this
opportunity to clean your house. "Kondo-ing" your home has been shown to
carry many benefits. *Clutter makes it harder for us to focus on tasks*
<https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3072218/>, so should you find
yourself working from home, a quick tidy up might help you to get your jobs
done. A *messy bedroom has been linked with difficulty sleeping*
<https://www.stlawu.edu/news/student-faculty-sleep-research-published-presented>,
and *messy kitchens with making poor health choices, like reaching for junk
food* <https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2711870>. If you
are going to be spending more time in the house, it will be worth your
while getting your living spacesin order.

However, de-cluttering is not for everyone. Hoarders use physical objects
to reinforce feelings of comfort and security. For those people, *tidying
up activates the brain’s pain-processing regions*
<https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190515-can-decluttering-your-house-really-spark-joy>
.

*7. Balance your social media consumption.*

Social media might appear to be filled with bad news, but for many it is
also a key way to stay updated and connected with friends and loved
ones. *Keeping
your phone out of your bedroom, or self-imposing screen-free time*
<https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180202-how-to-stay-happy-and-healthy-on-social-media>,
can help you to balance the negativity with the benefits social media
brings.

So the next time you find yourself worrying about the world, consider
taking some of these steps instead of ruminating, refreshing your social
media feeds or, perhaps for some, even meditating. Remember: emotions are
what we make of them.

By William Park  18th March 2020

***

Take care of yourself, and please reach out if you want to chat.

Val

and the ASP team
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