CEDAR email: Memories of Brian Laughman

[Astrid Maute]

On behalf of Dave Fritts (GATS)

We at GATS lost a valued colleague, Brian Laughman, at a young age, and
have assembled some memories of him by his family and colleagues.

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With great regret, I am writing to report the death of Brian Laughman, a
close friend and valued
colleague, who has been with our GATS research group since he joined us as
a graduate student
in 2003. Brian died on February 23rd due to complications from Marfan’s
Syndrome at Boulder
Community Hospital. He is survived by his wife of 5 years and 8 months,
Ingrid, mother and
father, Sue and Tony, siblings Kevin and Melissa, and many cousins, nieces,
nephews, aunts, and
uncles. His loss is a great blow to his family and the large number of
friends and colleagues
lucky enough to have known and worked with him. We all lost someone close
to our hearts
when Brian passed, but he lost everything.

Brian was very special to me, and to our GATS team, both personally and
professionally. He
was one of those people who made real investments in his relationships. He
was genuine, loving,
eager to interact, and wanted to make a difference. He had a quick wit, a
giving spirit, a gentle
manner, and was passionate about life. He would frequently come into my
office to show me the
latest gift he was making for Ingrid for some special occasion, or just
because he loved her very
much.

We at GATS were very lucky to have known and worked with Brian for almost
15 years. He
joined us as a young, eager graduate student who set his sights high and
was proactive in his
research efforts. He was insightful, and largely determined his own path
towards his Ph.D. Brian
was my first student ever to write his own proposal for a postdoctoral
appointment and have it
funded before he defended his thesis (on time).

Brian was an eager and very valuable contributor to multiple research
efforts. As he progressed,
he began to choose topics that he pursued on his own, and which appeared to
be valuable new
directions for our research. Brian was also happy to help mentor younger
colleagues. He was full
of ideas, excited about his discoveries, and recognized by colleagues and
others to have a very
bright future.

Brian was many wonderful things in one package, and we will miss him
greatly and remember
him in our hearts.

Below are a few memories of Brian communicated to me by Ingrid, Tony, and
others.

>From Ingrid and Tony:
When Brian and his brother were in high school, the family went on a tour
trip to Alaska. Many
older people were a bit annoyed that there were two teenagers along. One
day they'd stopped at
the side of the road where there was just a little shoulder and a 15-20
foot drop off. An older
woman started to slide down the gravel at the top of the slope, and Brian
reaching down with his
massive hands, grabbing her and yanking her back up like she was so much a
rag doll. Everyone
on the trip was happy to have them along after that!

Brian's mom's side of the family took a road trip to Canada to go fishing
at the same lake every
year. They always had animal crackers to snack on. His mom made a cozy nook
for the boys in
the back seat of the car, like a fort. They would pop up "like gophers" for
Customs to Canada,
then return to the fort. I had never taken a road trip before I met Brian,
and we took so many
really great ones. We always brought animal crackers. We always (and only)
argued in Nevada,
even if it was just the 40 miles past Las Vegas on I-15.

After about 6 months of us dating, I tried to break up with Brian. I called
one night and told him
we needed to talk. He knew what that meant, and he decided to play some
solitaire (as was
going to be his fate) and drink some whiskey while he waited for me to come
over. In this
conversation, I said that I felt that he didn't have any passion, so we
should split up. He asked
me to wait a minute, then went to his room and brought back a manila folder
with some papers.
He showed me one -- a sketch/doodle page with phrases like, "I like air!"
and other things he
loved and cared about. He explained that Colorado and grad school were
sucking the life out of
him, and that his passion would show more after he defended his thesis. He
convinced me that
he was awesome, so I stayed. The next day we went on a hike in Rocky
Mountain National
Park. Now Brian was passionate about everything! "I'm passionate about this
rock!" "I'm
passionate about left turns!" This went on for about a week. After several
days, his roommate
asked, "Aren't you laying it on a bit thick? She might get annoyed and
leave you." I insisted that
I deserved it.

Brian and I had agreed that he wouldn't ask me to marry him before he
defended his thesis. So I
was ready! He felt like the world had been lifted from his shoulders – he
was free! He got an
xBox. I waited another six months!

>From Ruth Lieberman:
Brian was a very special friend to me. We talked often, but science was a
small part of our
conversations. Brian was a sensitive and generous-spirited person with
wide-ranging interests.
Our conversations seemed to be about everything: Politics, music, religion,
family, hobbies, and
life. We discovered we both loved the music of Foo Fighters. Once we spent
an entire lunch hour
researching connections between Yiddish and Pennsylvania Dutch idioms. He
would ask my
opinion on anniversary gift ideas for Ingrid, and I was always hearing
about the progress on his
latest handiwork. I feel privileged to own a suncatcher that he crafted, a
prototype for a gift to
Ingrid. Mostly, we talked about relationships. Brian was my reality check
on the male of the
species. His interpersonal skills were such that I usually consulted him
whenever I was faced
with negotiating tricky personal or professional situations.

I miss Brian very much, and am fortunate to have had his friendship.

>From John Meriwether (Clemson Univ.):
I am so sorry to hear this news. I was coming to appreciate Brian as a
young outstanding scientist
that had great potential for a wonderful successful career. So sad.

>From Larry Gordley:
I first met Brian when part of Dave Fritts' CoRA group joined GATS in May
of 2012. After that,
we either met or exchanged e-mails maybe half a dozen times a year. But it
didn't take much to
realize Brian had all the qualities that I value in a science colleague:
very bright, energetic,
assertive, and challenging, yet always courteous and caring with a great
sense of humor.
Whether discussing research, company policy, politics or his latest
artistic creation for Ingrid, my
life was always enriched by the experience. Brian, thank you for having
graced our lives. We
miss you.

>From Katrina Bossert:
My memories of Brian were that he was always excited to talk to anyone
about research progress
and gravity waves. But what really stood out about him was that in addition
to being a very
competent researcher, he cared a lot about his friends, family, and
colleagues. In addition to
being a friend and colleague, he was a mentor as well. He provided advice
and tips from his own
experience applying for the postdoctoral fellowship, and when the end of
graduate school got
exhausting, he was there to remind me that I wasn’t alone and that everyone
felt overwhelmed by
the end.

Another thing I remember about Brian was his love for Pennsylvania. He
loved talking about
things unique to PA. One day he brought in homemade Pennsylvania pickled
beets and eggs and
insisted I had to try (they were good). Brian also loved Ingrid a lot, and
was really excited to talk
about gifts he was working on for her. More recently he brought in
woodworking projects that he
was working on for their anniversary.

Brian really went out of his way to make everyone feel welcome, and his
presence at GATS was
comforting.

>From Ling Wang:
I joined Dave's group the same year as Brian became Dave's graduate student
and had
known him every since. He had a gentle demeanor and was friendly and smart.
We engaged
in discussions on our research frequently and he was bright and very
insightful. Besides his
strong interests in his research, he was very passionate about life. I
remember that at one
gathering at Dave's place when we were looking over the views of Boulder
from the porch,
he asked me whether I had hiked around the Boulder reservoir and said he
would love to
go there and hike elsewhere as well when he had the chance. I remember he
loved the
Japanese woodblock print of "The Great Wave off Kanagawa" and ordered one
cake with
that image printed on the top for a company gathering. I remember he showed
me his
various artistic works on several occasions and described how he made them.
They were
beautiful and ingenious! It's such a total shock that he passed away
suddenly at such a
young age. He will be greatly missed.
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